We are looking at a case of arrested development vs. the U.S.Constitution. Our President has never accepted the reality of losing, and he has been enabled by an administration that coddles him in the conviction that he cannot lose without some injustice that explains his loss.
The problem is separating the identity of “loser” from the fact of losing. President Trump lives in a world of losers and winners, and every loss must be explained as a consequence of some unfair practice, or he is threatened with the “loser” label. There is no acceptance of losing as a fact of existence that does not diminish the one who loses. Losing makes you a loser.
We all grew up with kids who would rationalize every loss with some version of the other side cheating. We called them “sore losers,” which probably did not help them accept their fate. It is remarkable when these kids reach the age of 25 or 30 without coming to grips with losing. We see them in professional sports yelling at umpires or complaining about opponents who “cheat” in order to win. Sometimes we defend these behaviors as “competitive,” but there is a thin line between “competitive” and the elaborate false narratives that keep adults from the reality of losing.
It is tragic when these kids reach the age of 70 with their delusions intact. In politics men and women are usually initiated with some early losses in their careers, and they learn from their defeats, rather than complaining about some election injustice. Unfortunately the President has not had the benefit of political losses before he ascended to the Presidency, so his false narrative has persisted. He is compelled to rationalize any defeat, even defeat at the highest level of politics. He employs language, like “cheating,” “hoax,” “fraud,” to insulate his ego from the fact of losing.
If we have accepted the false narratives and enabled the President in his delusions, we are responsible for the farce he is performing at this moment. If we have mocked the President or called him names (like “sore loser”), because he would not accept a loss, we are equally responsible. No one accepts losing by being taunted. If we ignored the pathological behavior, because the President served our ends, for Supreme Court justices, a surging stock market or a bulwark against liberalism, then we have used his illness for our own selfish ends.
If we have divided our world into “winners” and “losers,” we are responsible for the mass delusion that some are ultimately acceptable and others are not. There is a moment after the self-congratulations that our side has won the election, when it is appropriate to reconcile and pledge to work together. That moment has to be genuine, not pro forma. Otherwise we will descend into the tortured world of our President where you are either a winner or loser until the next battle. Or you are a winner, only because the other side cheated.
Pledge to be reconcilers and not enablers in the delusion of winners and losers. The fight is not against people, but the against the adversarial narrative that makes it impossible to work together. Not winners or losers—over-comers.