If you don’t follow the New England Patriots, you probably won’t see the hilarity in this headline. The reasons it is funny to me has everything to do with why I admire the organization and why I would write about them on this blog:

• It makes a story about inaction, as though the Patriots had issued a Presidential pocket veto
• It makes a story about a “no response,” which is typical about how the Patriots handle the media
• It shows how the Patriots typically handle provocation, whether from another player, coach, or the media itself
• It shows how relentless the media is to cover the Patriots in spite of every attempt to make themselves invisible and un-newsworthy

The Patriots are a classy, values-driven organization, which manages to go about their business by ignoring the media and public speculation. Not everyone agrees with their values.

For example, Cary Williams calls them “cheaters.” According to ESPN.com “Williams developed his antipathy toward the Patriots while he was playing in the AFC for the Baltimore Ravens. Last summer, when the Patriots came to Philadelphia for several days of joint practices, Williams didn’t care for the guests’ demeanor. So he got into a fight with rookie wide receiver Aaron Dobson and was removed from the practice by head coach Chip Kelly.”

Probably Williams was referring to the “spygate” of a decade ago when the Patriots were penalized for surreptitiously viewing and filming practice sessions of other teams. And it was cheating, but not on the level of using performance enhancing drugs or poaching on other teams’ players. It was pushing for a competitive advantage. And the Patriots have been clean since then.

Much more interesting is how they follow their coach in responding to the media. Coach Bill Belichick suggested reporters talk to Cary Williams about his cheating allegations, because he had nothing to say.  The players interviewed followed suit. The story was a non-story as most controversy surrounding the Patriots is. Reporters have tried to stoke the stories about Aaron Hernandez, Tom Brady, Logan Mankins, and Rob Gronkowski to no avail.  They get terse, just-the-facts replies. No gossip. No accusations. No speculation. It is hilarious to see the media persist in making news during training camp with stories like “Patriots don’t respond to Cary Williams.”

Most remarkable is that players leaving the Patriots “no response” galaxy have very little to say about them. You might expect players like Randy Moss, Willie McGinest, or Wes Welker to grind some axes after leaving the Patriots on unfavorable terms.  Well, sometimes a little chirping, but really nothing very newsworthy comes out of their mouths.  They learned how to handle the news media under Coach Belichick, and they learned well. They always give their former team credit for discipline and unity, even when they have no financial incentive to do so.

Despite being the worst interview in sports, Bill Belichick continues to be interrogated and scrutinized as if he will leak the ultimate story by breaking his own rules. Belichick will not even crack an inappropriate smile or slip some sarcasm into his shtick, knowing what reporters will do with the weakest indicators of opinion.  He either has no aspirations to glamor or he craves privacy like no other media figure. He controls the media more than any professional sports figure on the planet, and his team follows his example.

“Patriots don’t respond . . .” can be the template for professional football coverage in Boston. It’s a powerful message and the poorest excuse for a news story you can find. In the battle with the news media and public notoriety the score is Patriots – Always – Media – Never.