A beautiful day and a stunning view of the lodge makes me sad. It reminds me how much Kathy would have delighted in this place at this time of day. And her delight was so much more responsible for my delight than I imagined.

I was lost in Boothbay Harbor tonight, and when I found the places I wanted to see, all of them were closed. The boat tours were not starting for another week or two.
It wasn’t the disappointment of that, so much as realizing that Kathy and I would have enjoyed just being there together. And when I considered coming back on Thursday during working hours, I thought, why bother? I didn’t really enjoy these shops except for her enjoyment. I got interested in antique stores, because she was interested. Now they have lost their lustre.

When I returned to the lodge I suddenly thought of walking out on the private wharf, pictured above. Kathy probably would have done that the first or second day.
And she would have loved it, because this setting was one of our favorites in Maine. Some of its magic is missing without her.

Melancholy arrives with beautiful sunny weather. Why? Probably because it doesn’t meet the expectations of beauty that I shared with Kathy. Those expectations will never be met that way again.

So I am reconstructing my vacations around craft breweries, Fenway Park, some hiking, and adventures not yet planned. But even the joys that catered to me are less joyful, because she is not here to appreciate my appreciating them. Had to leave this record, sad as it is, because it is part of vacations without Kathy.

Wish you were here, sweet Kathy.